to bryan.

27th feb 2009, friday,


hi guys, ist 1 hours + to my birthday, guess wat? im not a least bit excited, so far only 7 people wished me happy bday, i guess they dun really matter anymore, hahas, life is getting hard on me this days, today got back maths result, i was like WTF. 24/50??? hahas but guess wat, bryan peeked at the results, actually it was combined with the class test we had earlier this month, which is /15, i had 11, so totall i had 35/65, which is a just past, watever lurhhs, e.o.y. im gonna get A's i jus noe it. hardwork is all i need! i barely studied maths and i manage to pass it in overall, hahas, ue noe, i hate benjamin phang, his a bitch, a dog, who follows who ever seems to control power, i quite laid back in sku this days, low profile, hahas, that fucked up bastard lols, ue noe wat happen? i tell ue all, i was told by a group of friends that they were heading to shane's bday party, and guess wat, i wasnt invited, so i fucked care, like i care??? ok la abit ,cuirousity i would say, led me to ask samuel to do me a favour, i got him to call wei jie, and when he did he ask sam to meet him at the swimming pool at sku, guess wat, i took the chance to say, "eh samuel, where ue all going" he is the best actor i tell ue, he speak into a phone in a soft manner, "eh bryan ask where we going wat i say?" they told him to tell me he going home, than i said " i tout ue and wei jie ue all going out? go where?" then he did it again, guess wat, benjamin, being the bitch he is told sam through wei jie to say, say ue going play basketball, no speacial reasons". he did then he hang up, i told sam, hey, do me a favour, tell ben, Enjoy the party at shane's house, his like so busted, he saw me at macs and he were giving me the how he know looked, i simply diao him and ignored his "fat" presence. well overall today was allright, zhi min got me deodorant spray gold version for me, i was like ( why the fuck did ue get me that?? i got bo isit? ) lols well i thanked him anyway, considering the fact that not many people got me anything, well then chee pang got me a computer mouse resting pad?? and a phone key chain, i was like dhey, i lost my phone, lols i guess when ur old, and as time passes, people changes, so far, samuel hasnt, lols, for now i would say samuel is the only 1 among the four of us that doesnt despise any of us, wei jie seem to be driftin further, 7 years can change a person alot, noein him 7 years, i would say i noe him quite well, a person who changes according to people around him, shane? a person who doesnt like to be involved in problems, someone who i would like to say those who likes to run away from problems, everyone changed, so much have happen in 2 years, after i left primary sku, life jus isnt the same, everyone is changing their point of view, breaking their promises, moving on in life , i seldom talk to wei hao this days, his busy with band , most of our conversation usually only consist of hi, bye. im alone at home now, hahaas, its like an hour to my bday, i guess il sing happy bday to myself, ue noe wat, i dun even think anyone would read this blog except fanny, i feel like im writing all my sad stories and life to her, i cried as i type this while listening to 殘酷月光 by 林宥嘉, hahas looking around environment i find it harder to name best friends i have this days, i would say i have none, maybe 1, music, hahas its my best friend, it doesnt lie to me, doesnt hurt me, doesnt backstab me, doesnt do all sort of thigns humans do to me, if ue leave me in a room with music, i would never get bored, you know sometimes, llife seems to laugh at me, i was never compliment by my family and friends, im sorry , i don't remember if ue all had ever praise me, or compliment me, maybe the negative things are a million times more than the positive wans, i only remember mrs loh, my primary sku teacher encouraging me, to me, she was a role model, hahas life has change, havent visited primary sku in a while, would make a point to visit one day, its going to be 11 at 12, il sing happy bday alone, hahas, to not let anyone worry, i would often put on a fake smile, which seems so real, ue might be decieved, but guess wat, they are all jus a lie, a lie which no one could tell, i was never happy with life, never happy with where im at, ue noe wat my uncle told me, he said the reason he dun encourage me, is because he didnt wan to be like other parents, lie to the children, where as he wanted to tell the truth, his real bitchy at times, as specially at this time, the tongue has the power of life and death, i has experienced death in most part of my life, why? no one ever encourages me, it has always been myself, im sorry if i couldnt remember if anyone have ever encourage me before, maybe its because, the negative comments were more that i dun remember anything good, hahass basicly my mind is full of negative things instead of positive, alright il end here, nights people. and oh ya, bryan.... happy birthday to ue...