ReFleCtiOn~

May 17th Saturday 2008,

Today i thought of something i never would, done something everybody knows bryan won't do, don't worry, its not illegal things, its just not being myself, you know, everyone that knows me also knows that if bryan doesn't Behave like a crazy, hyper happy , cheerful guy then something is definately wrong with him, today yea, it happened , i went to church when i saw all my Zone members leaving church, thats when i remember today is zone F first service in the Auditorium, but had something important going on, everyone in my Cg ignore me except for a few, when i approached cch someone attacked me, as in mentally not physically, that just worsened my day, and then i try to bring myself together only to fall again, i don't blame myself after so much things had happened, i just so tired i wanna leave this place and go somewhere far away maybe even leave church im just so downright tired , everyone is like opposing me, thats why it gave me the impression that if i be myself i might get into trouble as i usually would so for once i tried but only to realize it might affect people around me as usual because im like bryan and this is the part where everyone says i self boast or hao lian or whatever but its the fact, if you know me or even been with me you will know if bryan doesn't talk or behave like the bryan you all knew then everyone would try everything to make me myself or they would just behave in my current mood, i just hate it when people does that,nevermind after service i just behaved like myself again then trouble came knocking to me, My Spiritual Father ( fabian ) sprained his leg due to my siaoness, thats where everyone is against me again so im like so ****ed up and pissed off i went off again, to emo, when will the day come when i won't feel down, i wonder...