Thats it! i had it with life,
december 28th 2007,
i had it, i had enough of this nonsense, i'm too stressed, i need time to calm down, i can't keep going to the same church my rivals goes to, and everyone is against me now, i had enough, this life sucks, i rather be the bryan that roams yishun, the one that did everything illegal then to be the one thats trying to change, i mean, whats the point? i trying to change but time and time again i get hit so hard in the heart, there is no more room in my heart, every single space avaible is being covered by the piercing of many, my heart leaks out beautiful memories and thoughts every moments, many times before when i get blamed or i get scolded i always tell myself, its ok, i have wei hao, i have my spiritual family i don't mind getting blame, then from that many timesvi always told myself to live for their sake but now, i don't see the point. The last thing i expected to happened to me is my best friend, my childhood friend, walking out on me, but, it happen,my spiritual family can't be there for me all the while , there is a BIG difference between spirtual and non-spirtual family, you get to do many things with your family while theres a limit when with your spirtual family, i had it, thats it, its time, i thought this day would never come, from the day i took a step into my church, i felt that well...this is it....this is where i gonna settle down, but guess what, i think, its time for me, to.... "BACKSLIDE"... not saying wei hao only even people who is close to me in church mocks at me,sigh,when will i finally find my home, my real home where i can settle down and have peace,i thought that was the home i gonna be settling down in, maybe being a christian is just not my thing, i mean God keep sending me vision but he never wanted to speak to me, this how people of church treats me, the girls thought Bryan is strong at heart, he won't mind our insults, But lets make it clear I AM A HUMAN, i go emotional i know sadness don't think just because i don't cry meaning im not going to cry, i don't cry because i don't want people to see me sad, that makes people sad, i always thought for people in my church but have they done the same? i gave up, what am i suppose to do now? my mind is in a mess, sigh,
i had it, i had enough of this nonsense, i'm too stressed, i need time to calm down, i can't keep going to the same church my rivals goes to, and everyone is against me now, i had enough, this life sucks, i rather be the bryan that roams yishun, the one that did everything illegal then to be the one thats trying to change, i mean, whats the point? i trying to change but time and time again i get hit so hard in the heart, there is no more room in my heart, every single space avaible is being covered by the piercing of many, my heart leaks out beautiful memories and thoughts every moments, many times before when i get blamed or i get scolded i always tell myself, its ok, i have wei hao, i have my spiritual family i don't mind getting blame, then from that many timesvi always told myself to live for their sake but now, i don't see the point. The last thing i expected to happened to me is my best friend, my childhood friend, walking out on me, but, it happen,my spiritual family can't be there for me all the while , there is a BIG difference between spirtual and non-spirtual family, you get to do many things with your family while theres a limit when with your spirtual family, i had it, thats it, its time, i thought this day would never come, from the day i took a step into my church, i felt that well...this is it....this is where i gonna settle down, but guess what, i think, its time for me, to.... "BACKSLIDE"... not saying wei hao only even people who is close to me in church mocks at me,sigh,when will i finally find my home, my real home where i can settle down and have peace,i thought that was the home i gonna be settling down in, maybe being a christian is just not my thing, i mean God keep sending me vision but he never wanted to speak to me, this how people of church treats me, the girls thought Bryan is strong at heart, he won't mind our insults, But lets make it clear I AM A HUMAN, i go emotional i know sadness don't think just because i don't cry meaning im not going to cry, i don't cry because i don't want people to see me sad, that makes people sad, i always thought for people in my church but have they done the same? i gave up, what am i suppose to do now? my mind is in a mess, sigh,
posted by BuLaiEn at
9:44 AM
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